Connect to the POWER of you SOUL!
I can remember as a child and adolescent, feeling invisible. Never quite sure that I was seen or heard. Never sure that I was understood, or that I was communicating at all. I still experience this, to some extent, most of the time.
After contemplating this phenomena, I’ve come to realize that this feeling of invisibility, is almost universal. Everyone experiences it.
The dilemma of invisibility leads to several options. The most obvious is, to funnel our energies into creating lifestyles with a platform or performance that brings attention to ourselves. In a child this might look like a kid acting out in school. To an adult this may look like some form of success producing, abundance manifestation scheme, which may or may not be successful.
The question is, do these attention garnering remedies really change the underlying insecurity drawn from a deep sense of invisibility?
From what I have seen and experienced, I would say, no, it does not. The need for attention becomes insatiable. We seem to get trapped in ever expanding, drama based scenarios, to garner more attention. The more attention we receive, the more value is ascribed to it. For me this has felt like a cycle that spirals one’s attention away from the core self.
So I thought, what if I start from the premise that my childhood feeling of invisibility was indeed true to our existence. And we are in truth, quite invisible to each other. No amount of attention grabbing mechanisms will now, or ever change this underlying state. How might we respond, such that, we can reach a deeper understanding of this phenomena.
Perhaps the appropriate response, is for each individual to come to know their invisible self.
The most accessible of our invisible qualities are our thoughts, emotions and energy. Each of these qualities fan out into a spectrum, that levels off according to consciousness. The most obvious level is that which is connected to our human life. Behind that, is the level of programming and habitual or unconscious reactivity. Apart from that, is the level of inspiration and inner guidance. Somewhere beyond all these levels, we will find the ‘true invisible self’. That part of our being that exists outside of our physical experience.
I have come to wonder if that first sense of invisibility, I felt as a child, was a vague recognition that the world in which I existed, did not reflect the truth of who I truly was. I did not recognize that the fullness of myself was invisible to me, as much as it was to the people in my life. In that lack of recognition I sought confirmation in the outer world and felt frustrated that I could not see myself reflected there. This compounded by the need to construct a limited self that could interact in the world to garner the attention I needed to satisfy the unquenchable desire to be known.
After finding little satisfaction in the constructed world, in which we are encouraged to garner favor and fame, I began to turn to spiritual themes, seeking fulfillment in the world of the Divine.
Having already turned away from religion, I became a seeker of the esoteric.
I learned a lot from the various teachings about the make-up of the Divine world, about methods of meditation and the various rules of the game according to cultural and historical origins. While this helped a lot, I couldn’t help realizing that these teachings felt vaguely external. Leaving me at the bottom of their hierarchy of knowledge. Offering sets of rules for how I needed to conduct myself and for what I needed to believe.
While I was exposed to a great deal of knowledge, and my understanding grew, the esoteric teachings left me feeling like a pawn rather than a player within it. So ultimately, these teachings also became unsatisfying. I was still invisible to myself, only having been presented with a different external set of rules and judgments.
So I discarded all that I didn’t need and, ventured into the unknown world of self. In this I returned to the quintessential question of the child… Why? But rather than asking this of the world, I waited for the answers to bubble up from within. It was in following those bubbles, like pebbles strewn across the sand, that I was led home to my invisible self.
I share my journey only as an example. My hope is to encourage any who resonate with my story to venture forward in accordance with to your own inspiration and guidance.